askhaise-sasaki:

Follow for more pun times ಥ‿ಥ

coopercinno:

#humerus

a-for-antisocial:

onlylolgifs:

x

i would shit my pants

cokeflow:

Maybe I am maybelline 

nakedly:

you are not fat
you have fat 
you also have fingernails 
you are not fingernail 

totheinternetandbeyond:

wecanbreatheinouterspace:

totheinternetandbeyond:

I lost the cap to a soda bottle

Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid. 

LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE

totheinternetandbeyond:

wecanbreatheinouterspace:

totheinternetandbeyond:

I lost the cap to a soda bottle

Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid. 

LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE

dyselxia:

when you flawlessly execute an insult

image

matthewsagan:

This is a lion making a kill in the wild. I know it’s very graphic but I think it’s important to show just how brutal nature can be.

matthewsagan:

This is a lion making a kill in the wild. I know it’s very graphic but I think it’s important to show just how brutal nature can be.

iphone user: *minding his own business*
android user: AHH look what we got here, another Apple Fanboy!
iphone user: im not really a fanboy
android user: let me guess, you just came back from snapchatting steve jobs's grave
iphone user: hey man thats in poor taste
android user: good luck getting your $300 jizz box to do what my Samsung G4TMX can *pulls out very large phone*
iphone user: it's quite large
Android user: you should see the stylus. it's a legit pencil! *tries to grab stylus, drops massive phone, it falls and lands on a chipmunk, breaking its neck*
iphone user: oh my god!
android user: oh my god is right! *picks up samsung* not a scratch on it. now thats some good engineering

retiredjesus:

when u dont reply to someone and post on social media

chieguevara:


is a fucking computer telling me i’m entry level

chieguevara:

is a fucking computer telling me i’m entry level

commonbee:

meatbicyclevevo:

commonbee:

why is there sand in my bed

the sandman came

i hate it when he jerks off in my bed

strawwolf:

that’s it that’s the whole story

simsgonewrong:

My sim got grounded, and after she was let off the hook, she kept on walking like this EVERYWHERE.

simsgonewrong:

My sim got grounded, and after she was let off the hook, she kept on walking like this EVERYWHERE.